I follow a lot of blogs, video series and podcasts. They range from personal development to business development. I am also building a business, I am a wife, a mother, and on top of that I have a full-time job. One question I see asked about on several, or a lot of occasions is “Mom Guilt.”
This is a serious thing and it plagues so many women and even men who are trying to better themselves by building something new. But it is also just having to work and having commitments that take you away from your children. Or, maybe it is the more serious issues that you made a bad choice and it affected your kids. How to you cope, release this weighty guilt and how to do better from here on out.
Parenting is the biggest responsibility you will ever have in your live. Even more so that running a billion-dollar company.
Raising children, your children to be thriving strong, independent adults is the biggest thing you will ever do in your life.
Before you were a parent you were able to focus mostly on yourself, maybe on a partner and of course your family and friends. But nothing compares to the scope of all the sudden having someone who is completely dependent on you. Anyone who has had a child will testify to the amazing ability of these tiny creatures totally taking over your heart, and now they are going to take over your life.
The great thing is that you do not mind. Nothing in the world can compare to the love you have for the child or children in your care. This child does not have to be by birth, just knowing that you have the awesome responsibility to care for, feed, provide and nurture this person into a full and happy life is an awesome responsibility.
But what happens then? You feel guilty of every choice you make that takes you away. Every choice you make where you cannot give them something they want. The guilt that you cannot provide for all the activities you desire to give them to help them grow to be the most educated and culturally adapt person ever.
Guilt will follow you everywhere and be a real part of your life.
Welcome to parenthood.
How do you deal with it and turn it into something constructive?
I have been a mother of three wonderful kids for 30-years and not to long ago I got one more daughter through marriage. I have been blessed. I’ve made some bad decisions over the years and I have learned how to relate to the feelings of mom guilt. I also spent time as a single mom which can compound the guilt.
I had to learn from the past mistakes and to grow my relationships with my children.
I have 10 different steps but I am going to try to be brief. If you all like this, I can break it down into a series where we go into more detail. I am great with details, examples, and stories.
So, let’s jump right in.
- Be the best parent you know how to be. And keep reminding yourself that you are. If you feel that today, you weren’t. Wake up tomorrow knowing you get another chance.
- Male family time a priority. Calendar it.
- Make the time you have together really matter. Really listen.
- Take “Me Time” Take care of yourself. Calendar that also.
- Have a loving relationship with your spouse. Nurture it.
- Do not overcompensate out of guilt.
- Remember you are not raising children; you are raising future adults.
- Lead by example
- Get advice – No instruction manual was included.
- Grow through your mistakes and failures. That is the path to success.
The pre-teen and teen years. Keep nurturing this relationship. You can now have conversations and discussions at a whole new level. Do not let them pull away and get so involved with their friends and personal likes and activities that you go days without touching solid base with your teens.
Schedule dates with you teens to have focused one-on-one time together.
During this time you feel that you can finally relax a little because they are more independent, but remember this is a crucial time to build the relationship in a whole new way. Don’t let your pre-teen or teen get lost in the way side because they do not need constant supervisions. They do need the time with you, adult conversations, a listening ear, and a mentor and role model. You need the few more precious years because before you know it they are crossing the stage ti get their diploma and they are off into the world.
Please share this on social media. If you know it will speak to someone send it to them with my love and blessings. Please leave your feedback and comments, questions concern and even criticisms.
If you would like me to break this down into a series, please speak up and let me know. I do know that having a lot of guilt as a parent plague so many of us. It does not have to paralyze your dreams.
I have to say a huge thank you to Create by Vidello. I am learning to produce video and when I had a problem their customer service went way above expected to help me when I had a problem. I hope you enjoyed the video. Right now it would not be possible without them. Visit them here. I get no money for posting this. I am just impressed and grateful.