Forgive Yourself

We are beginning week three of “Anger and Sadness are Exhausting.” The first week we talked about six steps to healing, and the next seven weeks, we are breaking down each topic.  

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  1. Stop Living in the Past
  2. Forgive Yourself
  3. Forgive Others
  4. Create a Future You Can Believe In
  5. Where is God?
  6. Be a Loving Person
  7. Be Grateful

Week three, we are discussing forgiving yourself. A difficult topic, which seems easy on the surface but is a difficult practice. Right now, we are not forgiving others; we are learning to forgive ourselves first.

First, you must understand that NO ONE is perfect; NO ONE makes all the right choices, NO ONE has lived a life without hurting others or themselves. So, stop beating yourself up over every past mistake you have made. We have all done it.

The guilt you carry is a huge stone around your neck. It can kill you if you don’t let it go. The pain of guilt affects every aspect of your life and can even manifest itself physically. It affects your health, your self-esteem and confidence, your friends, family, and relationships. The damaging pain can affect your work, which affects your finances. It is all a vicious cycle. One that I choose actively not to live in anymore.

When you do not forgive and let go of your past mistakes, the pain, shame, and guilt will change you into the worst version of yourself.

Do you remember being happy, carefree, optimistic, believing in yourself, and trusting in the goodness of others? Where did that person go? Don’t you miss that person?

Carrying around your pain and guilt is often a silent journey. You push it way down inside, put on a brave face for the world, and when it all comes bubbling to the surface again your cry in private, or you lash out anger at those who probably don’t deserve it. But this does not have to be your life.

Life is very hard, and we are so imperfect. We make mistakes and hurt people. There is not a single thing you can do to change what has already happened. You can let the pain develop into your identity in a bad way or a good way. Once again, a life choice. Which path do you want to walk? I choose to use my pain, hurt, and guilt in a positive building constructive manner.

I want to take every bad experience and turn it into my learning experience and grow into the best version of myself. I cannot do this if I don’t allow myself to forgive myself.

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We are not perfect, but we can aim for it. I choose to live a life of helping people find healing and peace. To do that I draw from every sad, hurt, negative experience, and I heal and grow. I build my empathy arsenal. I use these as tools to help others.

As you chip away the stone around your neck, you see the amazing person buried underneath. It is a chipping away process. You must forgive yourself over and over. That inner voice (Gremlins) will remind you how horrible you have been. Now though, you can say to the gremlin, “But look who I have become because of it.” You are no longer the person of hurt and anger. You are now becoming a person of hope and love.

I love to journal. I write all the time. In my purse, I always carry at least two notebooks. I can always have a self-dialogue. I am always on the path to healing.

Once the weight begins to lift, an amazing occurrence starts to happen. We begin to see the bright horizon instead of the stormy past. We see ahead more than behind. We begin to renew our hope, our faith, and we start to see a new vision of who we are meant to be, not Backwards. That is why our eyes on the front of our heads.

When needing to forgive, here are some questions to ask yourself:

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  • What is eating away at you?
  • What can you do about it?
  • How can you learn from it to do good?
  • What did that experience teach you?
  • How can you use it to help others?

Next week we are going to look at the path of forgiving others. I know that it is also very difficult. On the path to self-healing, it is so important to release the sadness, hurt, and guilt. Let’s be our Exceptional Best. Let’s look to the bright horizon and journey together.

Holistic Life coaching will help you take who you are and where you are now and give constructive, actionable steps to creating who you want to be and where you want to be. A very powerful 12 week path to healing and becoming who you have always dreamed you can be. Contact me today for a free consultation to see how we will work together to bring this into reality for you. It will be one of the best decisions you have ever made.

Love and Blessings,
Ashley J. Spurgeon

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Don’t forget to check out my new book and workbook. Exceptional YOU: Love Yourself Editions, a guide to healing. Available at Amazon and on Kindle. These are available as print or eBook from Amazon.com